'Assassinations Inc.'

‘The machine’s on? Make sure it’s on. Tov Me’od. Good, now it’s on. Now I’ll talk. I’ll tell you what you want to know...

‘It’s 20 years ago, more, but I remember everything: the planning, the operation, the hotel, the room, we went up to the fourth floor, we knew the layout, he was in the shower – have you ever killed a man? – no? - of course not, tipesh, stupid to ask. We always did your dirty work for you. Every country needs its operatives, those of us who do the things no government ever talks about – the removal of those in the way, quickly, efficiently – that’s the skill, the training. And we were the best, everyone knew it then, even you Brits admitted it, Mossad, we had the intelligence, the know-how – my God, we trained half the world: in surveillance techniques, infiltration, intercepts, how to use informers, how to leave no marks...

‘Do you know how to kill a man and make it look like he’s had a heart attack? It’s an art, like a surgeon’s – it needs precision, delicacy, the hood and the rope – we call it the ‘golem’, it’s our joke, how to snuff out life till the body becomes inert and all breathe is gone, Yossi and Hagai held his arms, he had no chance, he was naked from the shower, he struggled but they forced him down, and I slipped the hood over his head, like a tallit, like I’d seen my grandfather do, and you take the ends and you pull, and he thrashed around because he knew – what was his name? I forget, it’s a long time ago...What? al-Mabhouh? Are you sure? The one in Dubai? Well he wasn’t the first...

‘It doesn’t take long. We were in the room, what, ten minutes? Less. It’s like a dream. You imagine it all – in advance, you do the work so there are no surprises. Like you have seen it all in a film. There was a mirror on the wall, bronze frame, heavy, cracked, flecks of shaving foam smeared across, an empty bottle of mineral water on the table, papers, a passport. Two passports. I had his head cradled in my hands as he struggled for breathe, he was strong but we were stronger, and you grip like this, see?, and you put pressure here, and here, like this, can you see?, and there’s pleasure in knowing you are doing a good job – it’s professional pleasure, pride, sure, why not? – and in the back of your mind you know he has killed and will do it again, and then there’s the cause, that justifies all things, the sacred duty, Am Yisrael Chai, the people of Israel will live...

‘What you Brits never understood was that we were at war. You think ‘Never Again’ was just another slogan? They murdered us then, and they’d do it again. We knew that. We knew it in our kishkes. And nobody would care. They may even be glad. Killing Jews is what goyim do. No? You look shocked. But you don’t know your history, you youngsters. Jews are the bad conscience of the world – we gave them ideals, we dreamed up dreams of justice, of caring for the oppressed, of loving even those who didn’t love us. Impossible dreams. They go against the grain of human nature, human selfishness. But we insisted on those ideals, that killing was wrong, that coveting was wrong, that there’s a duty of compassion. Who can live like that? That’s why they hate us. Always have, always will. We said we were chosen - and expected them not to envy us? That we had a special destiny – and expected the goyim to kiss our feet? We expected too much – and now we have finally learnt our lesson: expect nothing, except contempt and more contempt...

‘You know what Sharon said about our chief, Meir Dagan? “Meir’s speciality is in separating the head of an Arab from his body.” He knew his job, inside out. And he taught us well. And we had a tradition to maintain, a reputation. Remember Munich? For years we tracked down the murderers of our children. A debt of honour. And if we made a few mistakes on the way, so what? Life is cheap. If you don’t die one day, you die the next. We learnt that in Auschwitz. So we hunted them down, across Europe. It took years, but we have long memories. And we did it well. And don’t think we are the only ones. Your country has its hit squads, and the Americans, the Russians, the Germans, they all do – and whether you kill by drones from the air, by poison at night, a bullet to the head, or a car bomb as your target sips his cappuccino in a sunlit cafe, assassinations happen as they must. The law of revenge. The law of retribution. The law of elimination. We all have enemies. And Israel has more than most...

‘And don’t tell me you didn’t feel a twinge of pride as we went about our business. Don’t tell me you just held up your hands in horror at what we did with such intelligence and efficiency. Such prowess – like David against the Philistines. Outnumbered but devastating. You admired us, secretly, didn’t you? - our ruthlessness, our determination, our ingenuity, our refusal to be intimidated by our enemies. Your mouths said it was wrong, but in the hidden crevices of your soul you cheered us on...

‘Yes, enemies come and enemies go. Now we’re friends with Iran - you now the story, how we engineered regime change there, after we got the green light to bomb their nuclear facilities - but then, back in ’10 or whenever it was, they were supplying arms and rockets to Hezbollah and Hamas, and the guy we took out, al-Mabhouh, he was in the middle of it all, so it’s a long game we’ve been playing and we don’t play by the rules – there are no rules, rules are for losers, and you Jews who sit on the side and profess your shock, your moral qualms, you’re hypocrites, you’re worse than them, the goyim who hate us...

‘Remember our old motto? “Through deception we make war”. You liberals always think peace will come through compromise. Yes, we talk to Hamas now, we’ve done it for years, we always knew we would – some of our best agents are in Hamas – but what has it brought us? It’s bought us time, that’s all. But that’s enough. Peace is a dream for the innocent. And we are not innocent. No more Jewish innocence...Are we out of time? Is the machine still on? Good. They are coming soon to take me back... They’ve let me talk to you – it’s rare, I’m kept here against my will, you know. The nurses hate me, you know? - they give me medication but I don’t take it, it’s easy to hide the pills, the blue ones, the white ones, it’s all in a day’s work for someone like me, they forget who I was, who I worked for, how we learnt to deceive. A way of life. Deception...

'What? Self-deception? No, no. It’s reality. Enemies. They’re real. Aren’t they? There are others here who are paranoid. I keep away from them...Thank you for listening. Time’s up. Better keep quiet now. Switch off the machine. You never know who is listening. Thank you for listening. Thank you.’